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Chomp Chomp Chomp

I'm hungry.

I also have been missing all the babies! One of my favorite kid patrons (he doesn't know) came up to the desk with his dad. He brought up a book from the book sale. As he was walking he was reading the rhythms out the book and I GOT SO EXCITED! All those Ta's and TiTi's :-D So I asked him to point to which notes were which and long story short I really wanna get back in the classroom.

I had an interview to be a substitute teacher a few weeks ago but it hasn't been processed yet :-/ Plus, I'm really looking forward to that extra ca$$$h.

PLUS, maybe it will curb my need to go out every. single. night. til like 4 in the morning O___o which is probably partly due to my lack of Alex.


I will attempt to post without back-tracking.

I don't know why I stopped writing.
I know there was a point in my life where I needed to write everyday.
But i think its because I wasn't happy...or fulfilled...or...?

Then I found Alex and he took up a lot of my time and energy (and totally not in a bad way) and I was just generally content with my life. Of course things weren't ALWAYS so perfect, and I wrote a few times but I don't know....

So now I will try to write again because it's a good outlet.
And it's a good way to try and organize the randomness floating through my head.

Hey Livejournalers,

I graduated from college!


4 page letter.

I wrote Alex this long @$$ letter about how much i love him and will forever love him and why i am angry at him and how i still love him and want to be together one day.
i think (hope) it will help me move on and such to get that out of my system so that at least he knows.

why the eff did i meet a really cuute guy (personality not really my style i think, but it's not like i'm looking for a relationship now. heh), juicy plump lips, nice eyes, nice hair...

he was wearing a boston red sox hat (alex's favorite baseball team)
and his name was alex. (Alex's name).

sadfjsakdlfjlks;adjflksadj ahahahahahahahah


It seriously feels like I have an endless amount of tears.

November 25th- our first kiss
December 25th- our anniversary

Every 25th- credit card bills due.

Efffff it.

I've been overly emotional for about the past three weeks.

Seeing the news reports about the 6 month old Happy Meal burger just made me crave one. So i got one.

Seeing the miner story did not want me to be stuck down in a mine. Hardy har.


I've been writing a little, but they've all been private.
Long story short, something happened which solidified Alex and me breaking up.
I think.

I mean. It just happened last Thursday. The sequence of events was:
-he broke up with me, yelling and screaming and cussing me out.
-i was begging/sobbing for him back.
-then he was upset too.
-then we tried to talk about things and ended up doing it.
-then we texted and talked back and forth.
-then i decided that if we're gonna do this we need to commit and really not talk/text/see each other.

so that's where we are now.
not that i have a lot of experience or anything, but i think cutting off all contact is like ripping off a band-aid. you just have to commit if not it will take forever. i honestly thought we should have been over months ago and this last time was just a sign.

i don't know if i'm trying to convince me or him of what i just wrote.

but i really don't feel like things can be mended back to a really good relationship so i just think we need to stop prolonging the (what i feel like is) inevitable. Plus, it's probably gonna take quite some time to get over us so might as well start now, right? :-/

It's been okay. Fortunately I have my student teaching to focus on. The kids are seriously so great. I could teach all day and not think about anything else because they take so much energy. There is nothing that matches the seemingly millions of hugs i get from little ones. and their snot nosed selves ahaha. I'm feeling better even just writing about them.

I only have one more week at the elementary school then it's to middle school where almost everyone is taller than me haha.

WHoa is me.

I am sick.
Today was the first day of school for many people.
I don't start til wednesday and maybe not if i am still sick.
all i want to do is play my project runway wii game.


What he did was unacceptable.

He never apologized or blinked an eye or even seemed interested in working things out.

There goes another holiday.

Girls Rock Vegas

There's a non-profit group called Girls Rock Vegas that I'm volunteering for--finally!

It's a program for girls from elementary to high school to learn different "rock" instruments....drums, bass, keys, and guitar. It's a week long summer camp program. By the end of the week they write and preform their own songs.

Not only is it musical, it's feminist too! lol.
I've been very critical of race and gender after taking, what else, Critical Race Feminism. I've been reading this book, Asian American Dreams that's been pissing me off. Racial injustices boggle my effing mind. It's pretty much a long account of "you can't do this cuz you're asian, not european."

Anywayz. Back to Girls Rock Vegas. I love teaching girls how to play bass. I love being able to teach a whole band of girls. I can't wait to (hopefully) see some of these girls playing in the future.


.The Original Gangstar Ninja.

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February 2011


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